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mollydooker

Sam & John

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mollydooker

Sam and John were out cutting wood when John cut his arm off. Sam remained calm, wrapped the arm in a plastic bag, and took the arm and John to a surgeon.

“You are in luck,†said the surgeon. “I am an expert in re-attaching limbs. Come back in four hours when I have completed the operation.â€

So Sam returned in four hours and the surgeon said, “I did it faster than I expected. John is down at the pub.†Sam rushed down to the pub and was amazed to see John playing darts.

 

A few weeks later, Sam and John were cutting wood again when John accidentally cut off his leg. Sam put the leg in a plastic bag and took it and John back to the same surgeon. “Legs are harder,†said the surgeon, “but I’ll see what I can do – come back in six hours.â€
Sam returned in six hours and the surgeon said, “I finished early – John’s playing football.†Sam went to the field and to his surprise found John kicking 50 meter torpedoes.

 

A few weeks later, Sam and John were cutting wood again, when John accidentally cut off his own head. Sam put the head in a plastic bag and took it and the rest of John to the surgeon, confident that the skilful surgeon would do the job.
“Gee, heads are really difficult to re-attach,†the surgeon muttered, “but I’ll see what I can do – come back in 12 hours.â€
Sam returned in 12 hours. “How did it go, Doc?†he asked. “I’m sorry. John died,†the surgeon replied.

 

“He suffocated in the plastic bag, you idiot!!â€

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