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  • Posts

    • mollydooker
      An  Aussie  truckie walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him. 
      The waitress asks them for their orders.

      The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 
      'Sounds great, I'll have the same,' says the emu.

      A short  time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40  please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change and pays.

      The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke.'
      The emu says, ' Sounds great, I'll have the same.'

      Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

      This  becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The  usual?' asks the waitress.

      'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man..
      ' Same for me,' says the emu.

      Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

      Once again the man pulls the exact  change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

      The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me mate, how do you manage to always pull the exact change from your pocket every time?'

      'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years  ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I cleaned it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

      My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money  would always be there.'

      'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something,  but you'll always be as rich as you want, for as long as you live!'

      'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of  milk or a Rolls  Royce, the exact money is always there.' says the  man.   Still curious the waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'


      The truckie pauses, sighs, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.
    • mollydooker
    • John_Galt
      The criminal is the state for charging 600% tax  

       
    • mollydooker
      Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist from the Midwest was enjoying the artistry of all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners, etc.

      When he turned a corner and saw a building with the sign 'Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry.'

       'Moishe Plotnik?' he wondered.

      'How does that belong in Chinatown ?'

       He walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking dry cleaner, although he could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the store name as there were baseball hats, T-shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the logo

      'Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry.'

      The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office. Behind the counter was a smiling old Chinese gentleman who thanked him for his purchase.

      The tourist asked,

      'Can you explain how this place got a name like 'Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry?''

      The old man answered, 'Ah..Evleebody ask me dat.

      It name of owner.'

      Looking around, the tourist asked,

      'Is he here now?'

      'It me, Me him!' replied the old man.

      'Really? You're Chinese.

      How did you ever get a Jewish name like Moishe Plotnik?'' 

      It simple' said the old man.

      'Many, many year ago I come to this country.

      I, standing in line at 'Document Center of Immiglation.'

      Man in front of me was man from Poland.'

      'Lady at counter look at him and say to him, 'What you name?' 

      He (Polish man) say to her, 'Moishe Plotnik.'

      Then she look at me and say, 'What your name?'
         I say, 'Sam Ting.'
    • Oz Jon
      Interestingly, some countries are going down much the same path with cigarettes and tobacco.   Cigarettes are not not illegal, but subject to massive tax (a $5 Asia street price pack costs $35 in Aus = 600% tax!).   Result? .... yes a reduction in the number of smokers, but governments have created a new illegal industry  - smuggling and illegal tobacco growing.   Otherwise law abiding citizens, are supporting the illegal trade in (much cheaper) smuggled supplies to satisfy their tobacco craving.   And who is profiting? ... Criminals!
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