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mollydooker

New Dictionary          

Due to the climate of political correctness now prevailing, we have to be very careful with our references. For example;

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES", they must be referred to as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.



HOW TO SPEAK POLITICALLY CORRECTLY ABOUT WOMEN;

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK"; she's a "BREASTED AMERICAN".

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER"; she's "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE".

3. She is not "EASY"; she's "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE"

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE"; she' a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY"

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND"; she's a "PREVIOUSLY- ENJOYED COMPANION"

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD"; she's "REALITY IMPAIRED"

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY"; she gets "CHEMICALLY COMPROMISED"

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS"; she is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED"

9. She does not "NAG" you; she becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE"

10. She is not a "TRAMP"; she's "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED"

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS"; she's "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR"

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER"; she's a "LOW COST PROVIDER"



HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT;

1. He doesn't have a "BEER GUT"; he's developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY"

2. He's not a "BAD DANCER"; he's just "OVERLY CAUCASIAN"

3. He doesn't "GET LOST ALL THE TIME"; he "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS"

4. He is not "BALDING"; he's in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION"

5. He isn't a "CRADLE ROBBER"; he prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS"

6. He doesn't get "FALLING DOWN DRUNK"; he becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL"

7. He doesn't act like a "TOTAL ASS"; he develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION"

8. He's not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG"; he has "SWINE EMPATHY"

9. He's not afraid of "COMMITMENT"; he is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED"

10. He is not "HORNY"; he's just "SEXUALLY FOCUSED"

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Chit
dicey eye

Cute!

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